Gratitude Isn’t About Ignoring Your Pain: Finding Balance This Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is often synonymous with gratitude. We’re encouraged to focus on our blessings, share what we’re thankful for, and create warm, joyful memories with loved ones. But for many, this season can bring mixed emotions—grief, stress, or exhaustion might feel closer to the surface than gratitude.
The truth is, gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring your pain or pretending everything is okay. Instead, it’s about making space for complexity—letting joy and sorrow coexist, and finding moments of peace even in the hardest times.
Gratitude and Complexity: What Does It Mean?
Gratitude is often misunderstood as a practice that negates negative emotions. But the reality is far more nuanced. Gratitude can exist alongside grief, disappointment, or frustration.
Making space for complexity means:
Acknowledging what hurts without minimizing or dismissing it.
Appreciating small joys—even fleeting ones—amid the chaos.
Letting yourself feel everything, from gratitude to sadness, without judgment.
For example, you might grieve the loss of a loved one while feeling thankful for the memories you shared. You might feel overwhelmed by the demands of the season but find comfort in the kindness of a friend. These moments don’t cancel each other out—they create a fuller picture of your experience.
Starting Small: 5 Ways to Practice Gratitude in Challenging Times
If you’re feeling stuck, try these small steps to explore gratitude without ignoring your pain:
Write down one peaceful moment. Maybe it’s the quiet before everyone wakes up, the warmth of a cup of tea, or the sound of leaves rustling outside.
Name someone who brings you comfort. This could be a friend, family member, or even a pet who reminds you that connection exists.
Reflect on a challenge you’ve overcome. What did it take to get through? Gratitude for your resilience can be a powerful reminder of your inner strength.
Notice beauty in the present. A crisp breeze, the aroma of your favorite dish, or a moment of laughter can anchor you in the now.
Thank yourself. Recognize the effort it’s taken to show up—whether it’s setting a boundary, seeking support, or simply getting through the day.
What Does It Mean to Be Thankful in Yourself?
Thankfulness isn’t just about external circumstances. It’s also about appreciating yourself—your growth, resilience, and the effort you’ve made.
Take a moment to consider:
Have you prioritized your mental health this year?
Have you set a boundary or taken a step toward self-care?
Have you shown up for yourself in ways that might have gone unnoticed?
Gratitude for yourself is a form of self-compassion. It allows you to see your value and honor the hard work it’s taken to get to this moment.
Finding Gratitude Without Pressure
If gratitude feels hard this Thanksgiving, remember: it’s not about forcing positivity or denying your feelings. It’s about finding small anchors in the storm—moments of peace, connection, and self-recognition that help you navigate the season.
This year, let gratitude be a quiet reflection rather than a loud celebration. Make space for everything you’re feeling, and know that both grief and gratitude can share the same table.
If finding this balance feels overwhelming and you want someone to help you process the complexity, reaching out to a therapist could make a difference. At Roots & Branches, we’re here to support you. Visit our Contact Us page to learn more.
