Inner Child Work

What is inner child work?

Inner child work means connecting with a younger version of yourself with the goal of providing compassion or gaining understanding. This work is very simple and you can do it anytime. Get a picture of your little self or visualize yourself at a younger age. Here are some prompts to get you started-

1. Describe what you (your adult self) sees in them (your child self).

2. Ask them how they feel, or say, "I know this feels ______ (sad, upsetting, etc.)

3. Write what they need to hear (I love you, you are enough, what you want is important, it's ok to feel _____).

4. Tell them you are there for them using whatever words feel natural for you.

5. Write back from your child self to your adult self.

Is it necessary for me?

I don't know if it's necessary for anyone, but it can be a great tool to utilize if you're feeling stuck, or feeling negative about yourself, or if you want to gain more insight into yourself in the present. It can help with making hard decisions, increase confidence in yourself, and make practicing self-compassion easier.

How do I know how to encourage my inner child? How do I know what part of my past is holding me back?

Here are some things to consider:

Shame - What brings up shame for you? Guilt says, "I did something bad," and shame says, "I am bad." What happens in your life that causes you to feel shame? Usually they are messages we got a long time ago early in life.

Soothing - Emotional soothing, meaning validation and acceptance. Do you need constant reassurance about something in your life? Look to others frequently for approval?

Self-betrayal - Are you aware of what you want and need in relationships or in life but sometimes betray that? Or maybe you are disconnected from what you want and need and aren't even sure how you feel?

Silence - Do you feel like you have to silence, shut down, or ignore parts of who you are? That people won't like you because you're too________?

Safety - Do you feel safe in your relationships? Are you able to be authentic? Do you stay in relationships that aren't emotionally safe for you?

Any of these areas can be a path to start exploring with your inner child.

If you want more resources on inner child work, try this meditation or check out Homecoming by John Bradshaw.