The Grove
Don't Wait for Desire to Strike - Consciously Invite It In
This post challenges the idea that desire has to strike spontaneously before intimacy can occur. It encourages couples to shift the mindset from "Am I in the mood?" to "Am I willing to try to get in the mood?" through conscious, intimate exploration together like sensual massage or reading erotica. With patience and vulnerability, engaging in these intimate experiences can slowly coax desire awake, without demanding it arrive fully formed. The key is intentionally prioritizing and making space for intimacy.
Long-term Relationships Can Have a Vibrant Sex Life
In a BBC Woman's Hour interview, relationships expert Esther Perel debunks myths about sex in long-term relationships. Perel argues that passion doesn't have to fade over time and that spontaneous desire isn't a necessity. Instead, she advocates for intentionality and effort, comparing it to planning other enjoyable activities. Open communication about desires and fantasies is crucial, and even amid life's strains, maintaining a connection to one's sensuality is vital. Find the link in this post to the full article, “Seven things we're getting wrong about sex in long-term relationships.”
Rediscover Intimacy Through Sensate Focus
Sensate focus is a practice of giving and receiving progressive levels of sensual, non-sexual touch to help rebuild physical and emotional intimacy. Through structured, mindful exploration of each other's bodies, couples can rediscover comfort, playfulness and vulnerability. While not focused on arousal or orgasm, sensate focus can reawaken desire.